Foster Care, 3 months in

We are foster parents to a 6 year old kindergartner, Buzz, and his 13 year old, 7th grader, sister, Jesse.

It has been the hardest, most difficult, trying experience that Grant and I have faced together as a couple. Having Vera was a big adjustment, and we both had struggles while we got used to caring for her, but it was different for each of us. I had hormones, and he had new responsibilities. In this situation, I feel like things have been more similar for us. We're going through this more or less on the same path. We're more equal in this parenting game than we were when Vera was born.

I have found the most important way we are able to be successful in foster parenting is with community. We could not do it without friends:  who have been foster parents, who are foster parents, others who have trained to be foster parents, and finally, those who haven't un-friended (to use a fb term) us because we chose this path. Everyone's experience with fostering is unique, but it is so helpful to share resources, ask for help watching the kids, or just cry about wanting to quit. We also could not do it without supportive family. My parents, specifically my mom because she's our babysitter, and Grant's mom and both our siblings have been "in our corner" from the start. It hasn't been easy; Buzz can get on people's nerves when he asks to play a game or spell a word for the 20th time in a row. It hasn't been convenient for our families, and we are thankful they have been willing to be flexible and understanding with us. We are so thankful for all of our supporters.

A more recent important way I have found to keep me committed and energized about fostering has been to put it in perspective with my faith and belief in the Gospel. I've started reading words (scripture, writings, books) and lyrics through the lens of foster care. It provides a new, relevant meaning. I think I will begin to share these here more often. I also might start a gratitude journal - Grant suggested that. We have to focus on the positives or the stress and negatives would stop us in our tracks.

Here's today's inspiration (from Redeemer Fellowship Bulletin, 3/11/12):

"God is not merely mending, not simply restoring a status quo. Redeemed humanity is to be something more glorious than unfallen humanity would have been... The greater the sin, the greater the mercy: the deeper the death the brighter the rebirth." -C.S. Lewis

Today, this reminds me a few things (in no order):

• The things I am learning from these kids and this experience is deepening my understanding of my own sin.
• God loves even me, in spite of my sin.
• That I can love these kids because of God. He loved me enough to redeem me.
• God wants to redeem me. He sent Jesus for me. 

It's definitely not easy, but with a couple sources of energy, all provided by God, I believe, Grant and I can make it through each day. Praise God for community, encouragement through words, and giving me faith to believe that He is enough for me. Finally, pray for these kids and their family as well as us while we care for them.